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Joke of the Day

"My car's check engine light turned on, so I checked it. Yep, still there! Moving on."

"Why did the walrus goto the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... ... not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"Laura Bassett must be an alcoholic... She couldn't even wait for the game to finish before she hit the bar!"

"Yes, it is. Is time travel possible?"

"Does anyone ever spiral into control?"

"What kind of dog can you milk? A titbull."

"Life of a chef must suck. All your work eventually turns to shit."

"What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes"

"What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt? It's not right, but it's OK"