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Joke of the Day

"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."

"Renee Zellweger walked into a bar... ""Oh, so that's what happened!"""

"Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA ""Gosh!"" he said ""If n only that job was in Texas Ah'd take it!"""

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans."

"What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas? Forty feet of track - all straight!"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off"

"Why do Republicans use rulers? They want everything to be straight."

"How do you hold a pirate rabbit? With its buccaneers! Source: Dad."

"I walked up to a guy in the gym. I said, ""How do you use this piece of equipment?"" ""It's pretty simple,"" he replied, ""Just push the button and it dries your hands..."""