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Joke of the Day

"History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the ""Lazy Susan"", but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife."

"Christy's husband wants to get divorced. ""No way, John!"" says Christy. ""Widow you took me, widow you leave me!""."

"Moderation: I don't know where it is... ...but they told us to drink in there."

"DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can't find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hiDAMMIT"

"Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella."

"What kind of dog can tell time? A clockshund!"

"What do you call a ban-worthy girl A banshee"

"Twitter is the new flypaper."

"My cat deleted my final thesis. Don't believe me? Cats can handle mice."

"Amelia Earfart was the first woman to transatlantic fart around the world. it was silent but deadly. i love you."