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Joke of the Day

"Moderation: I don't know where it is... ...but they told us to drink in there."

"How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer? Because she can clean her crack and sell it again"

"What do you call 10 politicians at the bottom of the sea? A good start."

"I just killed a man and his death is everywhere! (Ate a piece of toast and made some crumbs, dramatized for your entertainment *bow*)"

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"I never thought a fleshlight would feel like the real thing, but last night I got drunk and totally tried it. And I have to say, it was a pretty good fucksimilie."

"A man walks into a bathroom and slips on a turd.. Another man approaches and says ''are you alright mate? I just did that''"

"A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it."

"i don't always watch soft core porn, but when i do i watch XX. stay horny my friends."

"Did you hear about the guy that only ate one chicken leg per day? He was malnourished due to his paltry (poultry) diet."