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Joke of the Day

"I just used Oxi Clean for the first time, and it's amazing. I'm starting to think Michael Jackson put it in his bath water."

"I believe Unicorns were the first to call each other dickheads."

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident."

"Twitter is the witness protection program from family on Facebook."

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"My Mom burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess she should have put the oven on aloha setting..."

"If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife over the cliff? Tequila"

"If a Nun changed sex... Would that make them a tran-sister?"

"As a straight male, there has always been something about the gay community that blows my mind. They give the best fucking head!"