122024

Joke of the Day

"Twitter is the witness protection program from family on Facebook."

"Don't you hate it when... ....You're giving a handjob to another guy and he turns out to be a gay ass fagot."

"Mary had a little lamb... Boy, was she surprised."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt."

"On Viagra Guidlines If I was ever able to keep an erection for more than four hours, I would be calling the girl with a visible thong who handed me a pencil in calc, not my doctor"

"What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path? A bearl roll."

"I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go"

"I was going to make a gay joke... ...butt fuck it."

"Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is... I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool"

"If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it. I'll call it ""Weekend at Bernie's"""