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Joke of the Day

"As a straight male, there has always been something about the gay community that blows my mind. They give the best fucking head!"

"How do you know if someone is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you..."

"Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious."

"My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores me until she needs something."

"What hand do you use to wipe your butt? Right or left? For those that answered right or left, you guys are gross I use toilet paper."

"My doctor said I have hemorrhoids... but I think he is wrong: everybody says I am a perfect asshole!"

"Confucius say man who drops watch in toilet... ...has shitty time"

"If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know."

"Two guys walk into a bar... the next one ducks."

"George Zimmerman was arrested again for aggravated assault with a weapon. It's almost like there's a pattern here."