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Joke of the Day

"It's like these fools at the gym have never seen a girl with roller skates on the treadmill before."

"I am not afraid to stand up to my wife when she is not looking."

"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."

"Why I Consider Myself A Jokester Jokes are much more acceptable in society than moles."

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't go around thinking he's Bono."

"beluga whales singing and one that cant sing lol http://youtu.be/UlJ5GhYzHIY"

"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."

"I heard something crazy the other day apparently making alcohol in scotland is whiskey business"

"A Mexican Magician... A Mexican magician says he will dissappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos... *poof* He's disappeared... Without a tres."

"Does someone who sleeps on the ground because they like a hard mattress... prefer to sleep on Terra Firma?"