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Joke of the Day

"I am not afraid to stand up to my wife when she is not looking."

"My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment. Props to him."

"Two consonants and a vowel go into a bar..."

"Before you wreckyourselfvakia Czechoslovakia"

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"My period is late ."

"Doctor told me I have cirrhosis of liver How am I going to cure my alcohol addiction now!"

"Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says ""buy me some time"" and the guy goes and buys him a clock"

"Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats"

"I was getting a blowjob and I told the girl to treat my dick like a jolly rancher.... and keep on sucking."