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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."

"What is Shakespeare's favourite snack? Hamlet du fromage"

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."

"It's that time of year when it gets *just* cold enough to draw dicks on people's car windows."

"Guy walks into a gym He asks the manager which machine he could use that would attract the most women. The manager points to the ATM. Edit:formatting"

"Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig)."

"Why did Eve want to move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !"

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one to tell the three illegal immigrants he hired to do it."

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""

"""...you can also say 'representative' at any ti--"" ""REPRESENTATIVE!!"""