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Joke of the Day
"It's that time of year when it gets *just* cold enough to draw dicks on people's car windows."
Next Joke
"If she's freaking out, kiss her forehead, hug her & call her beautiful.. If she growls, throw chocolate at her from a safe place"
"My Grandpa said, our generation relies too much on technology I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."
"What did the jewish pedophile say too the children? Would you like to ""buy"" some candy"
"Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life."
"what's the difference between a cow and 9/11? you can't milk a cow for 14 years"
"Remember how much you used to like this song?- Car ads."
"There is no such thing as a fear of flying... But a fear of falling on the other hand...."
"my New Years resolution is to stop making stupid New Years resolutions. I failed."
"In Russian thanksgiving, Turkey shoots you."