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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""

"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."

"""Oh yeah"" - me, remembering Iowa exists."

"If you're ever cold, just stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"I got a dog for my wife. It was a good trade."

"If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to ""Widowed"", it's time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible."

"What is Wilford Brimley's favorite band? The Beatis."

"An old Scottish joke. What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings and Walt Disney."

"The lights at the Chinese restaurant were too bright... ... so the manager had to dim sum"

"It only took three beers before I could tell my kid her Barbie Dream House is in foreclosure. She's such a lightweight."