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Joke of the Day

"It can get pretty exhausting hating as many people as I do in a day."

"where do y'all wanna go tonight? Bars? The club? ""THE BOG OF DESPAIR"" Gary, after the forest of skulls debacle you don't get to pick anymore"

"Your momma is so old.... she used to get off on fifty slates of grey"

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"

"If your man keeps cheating on you with the same woman, humble yourself and go ask her for advice."

"""Gotham deserves a relaxed hero that smells of lavender."" - Bathman"

"What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree on top of you would kill you? A pool table."

"What do you call a fart from a paraplegic? Inert gas."

"Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs? Because he didn't like poles."

"What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood? Logger-rhythms."