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Joke of the Day

"What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree on top of you would kill you? A pool table."

"Every time I don't clog a toilet I feel like I've gotten away with something"

"What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream? The sock under my bed."

"Why does Santa give better presents to rich kids? Because poor kids have behavioural problems! \*rimshot\*"

"If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags."

"A blind man walks into a bar And a table. And a chair."

"It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work."

"If life hands you lemons, you are anthropomorphizing. In some way, you've handed those lemons to yourself."

"What's Harley Quinn's favourite rap group? Insane Clown Pussy."

"I bought a new fragrance today... Bc I heard with the right Cologne, women just can't say no to you"