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Joke of the Day

"Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships.. I came out with a Bronze.."

"Why did the homeless women keep flies in a plastic bottle? That was her vibrator."

"It's warmer now, but I'm colder than when it was colder."

"we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy"

"What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants? Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?"

"Why do people make shitposts? Because they are in a crappy mood."

"I think I'm a genius.... I just solved a rubiks cube so fast! It only took me 5 minutes and 25 seconds to peel off all the stickers."

"I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it..... It's true, I saw it with my own eyes."

"How do you make a fire with two sticks? You make sure one is a match !"

"Did you hear Jesus won all the swimming events? He walked it."