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Joke of the Day

"They say you learn alot from your first relationship Ya! That's why i'm not having a second"

"The only time that I get sucked in bed is when there's a mosquito in the room."

"A Jew walks into a bar Mitzvah"

"Shockingly True What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction? Stupid, filthy habitses!"

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"How do you piss off a male archaeologist? You take a shit in his car."

"Eat 70,000 small meals each day to keep your metabolism going strong."