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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"I think my intelligence is beyond of an average human I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and at the back of the box it says 2-4 years"

"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexic Association."

"I was going to say a chemistry joke... But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction."

"hi yeah I'm here about the junior executive position. my skills? well I'm SUPER GOOD at playing video games i found too difficult as a child"

"Mom told meh to not waist my food She said we were gonna have to 'tighten our belts' around here."

"I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I'm lost in the woods."

"One day I will write my autobiography and it will just say ""fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."" The rest of the pages will be drawings of dicks."

"If there was an award for being the laziest guy ever I would send someone else to get it for me."

"Before updating my status l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."