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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hooker who likes noodles? A Pastatute"

"Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents."

"Wife: We don't have anything planned today... Me: Cool! Wife: ...so I was thinking we should... Me: (dammit)"

"And that, Romeo, is why we usually try to take a pulse first."

"She was two thirds married once. What do you mean ? Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !"

"The other day I saw a short man carrying an LED tv and I asked "" hey do you help carrying that tv?"" And he replied all pissed off ""Fuck off dude, this is my tablet"""

"Did you hear about the red luxury cruise liner that collided with the blue luxury cruise liner? The passengers and crew were marooned."

"Why do you bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people"

"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."

"It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. So, hate fun or have a fat face, your choice."