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Joke of the Day

"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."

"I didn't come here tonight to win a popularity contest. Is there one though? Because that will probably affect my behaviour."

"How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers."

"All my dance moves look like i'm trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second.."

"What's the best way to piss off your best friend? Stand on top of his head and make it rain."

"How do you stop the protests in Charlotte? Sing the nation anthem they will sit down"

"*only shaves legs in the spots exposed by my ripped jeans*"

"What did one lawyer say to another lawyer? We are both lawyers."

"No I LITERALLY want to butter your hot cherry muffin. A euphe-what? Listen to Miss Community College over there."

"How many of you guys experienced this? Damn! I don't have spare keys either."