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Joke of the Day

"I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!"

"It's weird how in England the passenger drives the car"

"The funniest part of being put under with nitrous at the dentist is getting home to find your underwear on backwards."

"Definition of a spider, to someone who is afraid of spiders. Spiders are just furry eight-leggedy things, think of them as two kittens taped together and you'll be fine."

"How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight? Delighted."

"Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!"

"Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did."

"Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office? They do it right first time."