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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup."

"Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party."

"Heard my mom tell my dad to ""stop tossing her salad"" at the dinner table and now I can't look at either one of them without laughing..."

"Who was the most racist president? Bill Clinton. He hid from the black guy in between the Bushes."

"A jew buys a round of drinks for the entire bar ."

"I covered my gf with dough and raisins and put her in the oven to annoy her. Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed"

"[reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*"

"Zero word punchlines * Does this smell like chloroform to you? * I wonder what happens when I pull this pin? * Does this hurt? Comment some more!"

"I entered a laziness competition and placed first. I got atrophy."