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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full"

"Why did the smoothie get assassinated? He got mixed up with a few bad apples."

"Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers."

"Dad joke for my birthday I just opened my birthday card from my Dad... ""How time has flown, it only seems like 12 months since your last birthday"""

"Whoever replaced my kitchen window with broken glass and hid my laptop and tv. Haha very funny. Now tell me where they are. I'm serious."

"Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels? Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation."

"So this guy is on a date with this hot chick, after a while, weird sh*t starts happening..."

"So I walked into an apple phone store... And I farted, the people working there got mad at me and I said,""it's not my fault you don't have any windows"""

"Judge: Do you mix horse meat with chicken? Defendant: Yes, my lord..... Judge; How much. Def: 50:50 Jud: Please elaborate. Def: **One horse to one chicken.**"