205233

Joke of the Day

"The funniest part of being put under with nitrous at the dentist is getting home to find your underwear on backwards."

"I hate when people tell me to have a safe flight. Like I have a choice. It's either back home, or in a swamp. I'll try really hard to live."

"The last words of my gym teacher: ""All spears to me!"""

"Husband comes home early and sees his wife with a black man. And says: ""Now i can see black on white that you are cheating on me. """

"Why did Gigi leave the party angrily? Because she's Hadid."

"Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first."

"What dog takes the money and runs fast! A payhound!"

"Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray."

"When Santa arrives at home, he says: Honey, I'm ho-ho-home! ... I'll show myself out."

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."