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Joke of the Day

"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."

"Still super weird to me that humans can make other smaller humans. I wish mozzarella sticks could make other smaller mozzarella sticks."

"MATH TEACHER: wanna come do the problem on the board? ME: no MT: i wasn't asking ME: if u were an english teacher you'd know that u were"

"Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they left the old country, immigration officers put a sticker on their lapel that read To NY."

"I just found out I'm colour blind The diagnosis came completely out of the green. (Courtesy of a family member)"

"God hates fags He prefers a nice, fat, dank blunt."

"[META] Dark humor is not funny Especially when it steals your wallet."

"Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social exclusion."

"ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday."

"""You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD."" - 3rd degree burn"