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Joke of the Day

"Fact - If you add ""ish"" to your time, like 9:00ish, you're never late for anything"

"Why is God happy? Because every women call his name during sex."

"A guy walks up to a girl at the bar. Not knowing she was crazy, he says ""hey, you're an 8!"" She smiles at him and begins peeing on the floor."

"Chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world once and kick himself in the back of the head"

"Cops caught me fapping in a park and asked my penis if it wanted to press charges."

"The inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions."

"Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop? Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)"

"My State of the Union I am from Illinois, but I also lived in Arizona for a while."

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"How do mathematicians solve constipation? They just work it out with a pencil!"