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Joke of the Day

"Cops caught me fapping in a park and asked my penis if it wanted to press charges."

"I'm Absolutely Certain by R. U. Sure"

"9 out of 10 men prefer a girl with a big butt. The 10th man prefers the other 9 men."

"If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?"

"I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say ""Mommy steals credit cards"" when they're in a checkout line."

"What kind of gas supports violence? pro-pain"

"So I was having sex the other day... I thought I was doing a great job because her toes kept curling, then I realized she was still wearing panty-hose..."

"What do you call a man doing dishes? Single."

"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"

"What's white, hard, and 12 inches long? Nothing."