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Joke of the Day

"Chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world once and kick himself in the back of the head"

"Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It's almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before"

"What do you call the father of a frog that is in the early stages of its life? *A Dadpole*"

"If I had a dollar for every girl I fucked ... ... I would be still fucking poor!"

"What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Blind prostitutes. You gotta hand it to 'em."

"Every dog, in a previous life, has been murdered by a shoe."

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone!"

"When a woman cooks you dinner you're either going to get laid or poisoned."

"If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all."