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Joke of the Day

"which 2 insects are the most foolish? ant-ticks"

"A guy walked into a bar. He was brought to the closest hospital quickly."

"INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put ""has dominion over bees""? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off"

"She can argue for 4 hours straight... but ten minutes into a blowjob and her jaw hurts."

"I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them."

"You know you're an optimist... ...when your blood type is B+"

"One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk"

"What's your favorite thing about earth? It's just got such a great atmosphere."

"Each week our panel of 3 celebrity chefs compete to create the ultimate final meal for a death row inmate on LAST SUPPER, this fall on FOX"

"Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin."