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Joke of the Day

"Each week our panel of 3 celebrity chefs compete to create the ultimate final meal for a death row inmate on LAST SUPPER, this fall on FOX"

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"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with IBS? Well, one you have to shuck between fits..."
"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"
"The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet."
"MY NEIGHBOR CAT MITZI JUST LET ME PET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YRS NOTHING ELSE MATTERS RIGHT NOW ONLY MITZI & I EXIST"
"Yesterday I taught my boss to play Angry Birds. Today, she ""couldn't make it in to work."" This is called managing upwards, people."
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud."" A Scotsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."""
"Joke of the Day 6/13/14 I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair."
"What does a German woman dial when a man won't take no for an answer Nein! Nein! Nein!"
"What do you call a joke with no punch line?"