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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put ""has dominion over bees""? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off"

"Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary? Because they'll always have the last word."

"Why couldn't Jesus waterski? Because he never existed."

"Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket."

"*writes ""with my squad"" under a picture of me and several cats"""

"What do you call it when Einstein faps? A stroke of genius."

"Remember: If the leprechaun sees his shadow today, six more weeks of drinking."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender says why the long face. The horse says ""I finally realise that my alcoholism is driving my family apart"""

"Did you hear about the guy who had to be exorcised? He couldn't pay the priest afterwards and got repossessed."

"I am a damn good electrician Otherwise I would be dead"