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Joke of the Day
"How do you make holy water? Boil the *hell* out of it."
Next Joke
"Funny talks make smile always. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often."
"I just pretended to be on my phone in the elevator and then my phone rang. I'm going to close up shop emotionally for the day"
"Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park! "
"If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Bad at following directions."
"You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!"
"Wait. If Toyotas can't stop accelerating, can't they theoretically be used for space travel?"
"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the rest of the buildings"
"Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back."
"Notice how women didn't complain when they did an all-male version of Sex & The City called Entourage."