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Joke of the Day

"Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job."

"My Girlfriend assured me that a small penis should never be an issue in a loving relationship.. But I still wish she didn't have one at all."

"I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial"

"How do you get down from a horse? You don't. You get down from a duck."

"What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on? It made him shy!"

"*uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day."

"I came very close to death last night. I had a wank in a graveyard."

"My GFs family are religious which sux 1st time I stayed there her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Was a shame cuz he was very attractive"

"Every time a woman takes off something she looks better, but every time a man takes off something he looks worse."

"How to become cool A) Put on sunglasses B)"