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Joke of the Day

"*uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day."

"A couple was having sex in the front seat of the car. They were very horny!"

"I asked Siri "" surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow"" and he replied "" yes it is, and don't call me Shirley""...turns out I left airplane mode on"

"I was bullied in high school by the X men. No, not the group of crime fighting mutants, but a bunch of transgender females who were better at sports than I was."

"How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian."

"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? Because they are out standing in their field."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands."

"My dad used to wash my mouth out with soap... But that was just to get rid of the DNA evidence."

"Marvel have announced Thor is set to become a woman. New super powers include being judgmental, temperamental and unreasonable."

"According to old paintings, there's mad titties in heaven."