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Joke of the Day

"Everyone was so quick to point out the obvious typo in my ""Meating in the conference room"" email. Then I pelted them with bologna."

"Oh, you used ""whom"" in casual conversation. Well, I didn't realize I was in the presence of William Fucking Shakespeare."

"I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers... B9"

"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"

"What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination."

"A frog goes to his doctor, the doctor says ""I'm afraid you're going to croak very soon."" the frog enjoys the joke and makes peace with death"

"Why did tigger look in the toilet... He was looking for Pooh"

"What does the funeral director say to the 11am service goers? Mournin'"

"The Jonestown cult survivor was never any good at jokes. He always missed the punchline."

"""Give it to me!"" My girlfriend screamed. ""I'm so fucking wet right now!"" She could shout all she wanted. I wasn't handing over my umbrella."