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Joke of the Day

"If I was a girl named Isis, I'd be pissed that half the people decided to change my name to Isil."

"Have you ever had sex on a campground? It's fucking in tents."

"What does a pirate drink for breakfast? Arrrrange juice."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven."

"I like my women like I like my Chinese chemical storage facilities Ready to blow at any minute"

"[Last Supper] Jesus:""We need 13 chairs please"" Judas:""But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"" Jesus:""AD?"""

"What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick."

"Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck."

"Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets."

"A broom only likes one brand of comedy. Dustpan."