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Joke of the Day

"My Friends Call Me A Pedophile Because she's 18 and I'm 30, but I'll be damned if I let them ruin our seven year anniversary."

"I was gonna make a sodium joke but... Na"

"A cop pulls over Heisenburg, and says... Do you know you were going 100 miles per hour? Heisenburg then replied, exasperatedly, ""Dammit, now I'm lost!"""

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't go near anything that's not 20% off."

"I like my women like I like my cheese. Cold and blue."

"Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children."

"Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian? Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out"

"I would make an economics joke But there's no demand"

"Q. How did a blind girl burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron"

"Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves Yoga instructor: True Nutritionist: So wise Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan"