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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?"

"What don't elephants forget when they go swimming? Their trunks."

"Did you hear the AIDS joke? You haven't? Never mind, I don't want to spread it."

"Greatest Hipster Joke Of All Time How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!"

"What did 50 cent say to his grandma after she crocheted him a sweater? G! You knit!"

"Ovens You hear? Germany is now coming out with a new line of ovens...4 seaters and 6 seaters"

"I've come to the realisation that tofu is over rated- It's just a curd to me."

"How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows? Dairy"

"[Mysoginistic joke] What's the definition of the perfect woman? Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight."

"M: Come to bed... Her: I have a headache M: You're a robot! H: M: H: ...SELF DESTRUCT [BOOM] M: Nice try but you're still under warranty!"