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Joke of the Day

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"Met a woman with 12 boobs the other day Sounds weird dozen tit?"

"What would I be if I doubled myself? Meme"

"What do you call a line of iron cats? A Feline..."

"When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers."

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN..."

"Hiker's last words ""Who the hell do you think you are, that you are eating those blueberries dressed in that damned fur coat in the middle of this damned forest?"""

"All the toilets in the city have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on."

"My girlfriend isn't talking to me because apparently I ""ruined"" her birthday... ..I'm not sure how that's possible, I didn't even know it was her fucking birthday."

"Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like ""You guys don't know her very well"""