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Joke of the Day

"If all the corner pieces of a cake are gone, I calmly pull the emergency icing out of my purse & frost the edges of an inside piece."

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"To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym ""DBOF"": Don't Be On Fire"
"What does ebony porn have in common with space? Black holes."
"My gf went to the beauty parlor and got a Brazilian. Nothing extreme, just punched her."
"If a blind girl tells you your penis is massive... ...she's probably pulling your leg (great show by Jimmy Carr tonight)"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was actually a double cross. He had to cross the road in order to gain the trust of the other side."
"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face."
"Why can't Tarzan be played by a black actor? It wouldn't be an adventure movie then, it'd be a documentary."
"A guy gets pulled over for speeding The cops walks up to the guy's car window and says ""Son, I've been here just a waitin' for you all day."" The guy replies ""Well, I got here as fast as I could""."
"My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. I am jobless now."