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Joke of the Day

"A guy gets pulled over for speeding The cops walks up to the guy's car window and says ""Son, I've been here just a waitin' for you all day."" The guy replies ""Well, I got here as fast as I could""."

"I'm not racist, racism is a crime. And only black people commit crimes."

"If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

"When I was born god asked me if I wanted a good memory or a huge wiener. I can't remember what I picked..."

"He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Sounds like Santa's had Facebook way before us."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"Why can't we edit tweets? Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say ""RT if you hate puppies and babies."""

"I picked up this chick in Rome. We had sex, said goodbye the next morning and gave her a hi five She gave me hi V"

"God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems."

"Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance."