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Joke of the Day

"Not all Girl Scouts are nice. Some silent fart while you're filling out the paperwork for Thin Mints and they don't even say they're sorry."

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"What do do you call a Mexican rolling in the sand? A churro."

"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."

"What does a pencil have in common with marijuana? If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt."

"What did the leper tell the prostitute? [Keep the tip!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0PIdWdw15U)"

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one."

"What illness do you diagnose a sick ass online bowling player with? E-bowla!"

"Donald Trump walks into a mexican resturant jk. he doesn't..."

"[taking pregnant wife to hospital ER] Me: Help! My wife's having contradictions! Dr: Don't you mean contractions? Wife: Never say never"