21965

Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one."

"Woke up and saw my shadow and it looked fat. Six more weeks of self-loathing."

"Why can't redheads get drunk? Because they only drink Ginger Ale."

"The reality is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I'll never give a fuck what your name is."

"Whitney Houston May Not Have Had The Last Word! But I know She Had The Last Line!!"

"I tried Alaskan food once. But I wasn't that Inuit."

"Assuming makes an ass out of u and Ming, the thai food delivery boy who you assumed was from Thailand but is actually Chinese."

"GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is BAD COP: He's trying to get on your side so you confess GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank"

"Why is the symbols row of my keyboard swearing at me"

"The water from a drinking fountain tastes like pennies and mumps."