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Joke of the Day

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"What do you call a Mexican who is high? A Baked Bean!"

"What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough? You're my life's devotion. I knead you!"

"Public bathrooms are why parkour was invented."

"In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot."

"Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month."

"How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool."

"I can't watch the Super Bowl this year. It's all a LI"

"I would rather be a goat or a bag of teeth than a ""low information voter."""

"Whats the difference between a whistle and a rape whistle? one is a cockblocker"