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Joke of the Day

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"""Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!"" - birth of an expression"

"What do you call all that useless meat around the vagina? A woman"

"Why are asprins white? Because they work."

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days"

"What is the Technical name For IronMan Overreacting? ""Fe"" male"

"How is a NASA Shuttle similar to Sex with Your Mother? ... They both burn on re-entry."

"I like my girls like I like my coffee... Fresh, not matured, and sold from a shady part of South America."

"[NSFW] [NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."

"I've been dating a homeless women recently, and i think its getting serious. She asked me to move out with her."