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Joke of the Day

"cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]"

"So I'm going down on this homeless woman. And then she wakes up!"

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"When I see you, I'm a 10... On the [Mohs scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness#Minerals)."

"Referring to people as individuals isn't accurate... I can divide them."

"""I'll sleep when I'm dead."" - People who don't understand sleep. Or death. Or expressing themselves without the use of cliches."

"honey i shrunk the oreos just kidding they're mini oreos stop crying"

"A healthy man has a thousand wishes and a sick person only one... ... to win the election"

"Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century? Neckbeard!"

"TIL: They're making a sequal to Brokeback Mountain... Called Sore Ass Pass."