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Joke of the Day

"Gerald: ""Have you ever come across a man who at the slightest touch caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?"" Mabel: ""Yes the dentist."""

"What do you call a news anchor with diarrhea? Anderson Pooper"

"What did the duck say to the bartender put it on my bill"

"What is the hardest part of eating vegetables? Their wheelchairs"

"Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough."

"Why did the spy stay in bed? To stay under cover"

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes? Because they take everything literally."

"Here's a bit of advice for you Advi"

"If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore"

"Bought that new Mac Book Pro today. Apparently they crush up 100 Japanese children's retinas too make the display. Or something. I zone out."