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Joke of the Day

"Get a TATTOO they said! A rock band tattoo would be the BEST they said! Creed will be popular FOREVER they said!"

"Come on, Grandma! Thank goodness for commas."

"I dented my Ford Focus and now it's blurry."

"BUT YOU SAID IF I WANTED TO BE YOUR LOVER, I HAD TO GET WITH YOUR FRIENDS!"

"Slap bass For when you need practice but your wife isn't around."

"Raise your hand if this is your first time under a helicopter. Ah, sorry to make an example of you Johnson, but that's why we never do that."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He kept himself up at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"did you hear about the freak birth at chernobil? a baby was born with more eyes than teeth"

"Every DJ's picture looks like they just got done effing your mom & can't wait to tell you about it."

"In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors."