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Joke of the Day

"In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors."

"My friend asked me to take a look at something on r/jokes I replied, ""No thanks, I already reddit."""

"Look, a reindeer. Santa, is that you? Nope. Chuck Testa."

"What do you call someone with No body and a nose.. Nobody knows.."

"some macians can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land"

"I do whatever I can to fight poverty So the other day, I punched a tramp (Courtesy of Milton Jones)"

"When is it okay to punch a midget? When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice."

"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"

"If you know this one than we are probably friends. * Man 1: Knock Knock. * Man 2: Who's there? * Man 1: KGB. * Man 2: KGB wh- *get's slapped* * Man 1: WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!"

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already"