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Joke of the Day

"BUT YOU SAID IF I WANTED TO BE YOUR LOVER, I HAD TO GET WITH YOUR FRIENDS!"

"My books fell on my head last night.... I only have my shelf to blame. :("

"I used to be embarrassed by my facial hair, but it grew on me."

"[invention of kissing] WEIRD PERSON: Hey let me lick the inside of your mouth EVEN WEIRDER PERSON: Ok"

"""Wolfgang Mozart"", says Mozart's friend... ""What?!"" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves."

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's... Yea, says the guy who never shoved a bunch of Reese's up his ass."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven made six confused."

"Rihanna was asked; ""why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?"" She replied: ""Beats the hell outta me"" Edit: holy shit front page, thanks guys"

"Don't talk down to me just because I'm drunk on tequila. That's Patronizing."