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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny."

"One in 3 Americans weighs as much as the other two combined"

"NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in. MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*"

"Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off."

"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Fresh Jews."

"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"What's it called when you backtalk someone so hard they die? A sassination."

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"Tarzan's Marriage Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage? Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !"